|
|
Every once in a while I have a bad - so do my clients.
But one of the things I’ve come to realize over the
years, is that the “bad weeks”, bad moods, and in the
longer term, on-going depression, only result when
people expect life to be free of problems.
Somehow, there seems to have been a big hiccup in the
self-help industry. People have come to mistakenly
believe that if you think good thoughts, meditate or
pray and say positive affirmations, that all of life is
going to be worry-free and wonderful. That’s just not
the case.
|
|
While positive thinking is an important piece of the
puzzle, it’s not the only piece. Sometimes it’s going to
rain on your birthday, the car will break down, you may
get a red wine stain on your favorite shirt, miss a
flight and the list goes on. In short, stuff happens! We
can’t control the entire universe. And do you really
want to? A) That’s an awfully big job, and I don’t know
about you, but I’m already a little busy. B) Problems
are just surprises that we don’t like. If you could
control absolutely everything, think of all of the
really neat surprises that you’d miss out on?!
Problems are not only something that you didn’t plan on
and don’t care for; they’re a sign that something isn’t
working, that it needs your attention and needs to be
better figured out. True problems, (other than the whole
raining on your birthday thing), are generally a sign of
progress. Where there are no problems, there is no
progress. How much do you think Toyota’s research and
development is going to progress this year? What about
overall automobile safety standards and production?
The first thing to know about problems is that they will
come up, what’s important is how you deal with them.
1. Anticipate the ones you can and plan your solutions
in advance
example: back up your computer regularly, just in
case it breaks down you want to protect your data
2. Realize that problems are the sign that something
that is important to us; it means there is an underlying
goal
example: Problem: You have a sweet tooth and
don’t work out much
Goal: You’d like to be physically fit and healthy
3. Know where there is a goal, there is always a
(another) solution **more about this in the Homework
section
4. The Bigger the Problem, the Bigger the Goal
example: back to Toyota - I went online to check
out their company mission statement, “To attract and
attain customers with high-valued products and services
and the most satisfying ownership experience in
America.” Considering how many millions of vehicles
are sold in North America every year, “..the most
satisfying ownership experience in America.” is a
massive goal! If they didn’t care about their brand,
their name, or their product, there would be no problem.
I’m lucky to work with some very successful clients, and
these peoples’ lives are far from free of problems. In
fact, the more successful they become, the bigger the
problems, because they are continually increasing the
size of their goals. The key difference I’ve noticed in
what determines the degree of success is not the number
of problems, but the ability to deal with them. It’s
like lifting weights, you start with the little ones,
and as you get stronger, you build up to the bigger
ones. Problems are our way of building and flexing our
life-skills muscles. As the saying goes, “Don’t wish it
was easier, wish you were bigger/better/stronger.”
Homework
So this week I’d like to challenge you to take a new
look at your problems. Start by writing down three to
five of biggest problems in your life right now. Then,
write down the goal associated with the problem. Once
you’ve done that start brainstorming some possible
solutions - you don’t have to do all of them, or even
any of them, they are only possible solutions. Be
as creative as you can, and if you’re having trouble
with this, brainstorm with a friend, read up on it, or
hire a coach. Once you’ve done that pick one action that
you can take from your solutions list to start moving
closer towards your goal
Bonus Step: If you really want this to be
effective, get an Accountability Partner to do this
with. Stay away from spouses or family members as they
tend to be “too close”. Friends, neighbours, sometimes
co-workers (depending on the goal) or of course coaches
make great choices!
Some people say that “Problems are life’s way of
seeing how serious we are.” Or a friend said to me
just yesterday, “There are problems or
inconveniences. It’s only a problem if it’s immediately
life threatening, otherwise it’s an inconvenience.”
And by the way, he’s a veterinarian. Take it from me,
(who has been hysterical in his office more than once)
he knows a few things about what is life threatening,
and solving problems.
If peace, balance and harmony is your goal, that’s
fairly easy to do while sitting in a warm sunny meadow,
but the minute the meadow gets dark and windy, your
clothes need washing, you’re kind of lonely and you have
no where to sleep, you suddenly have a problem. And do
you really want to live without a house, clothing,
modern conveniences and other people anyway? Well guess
what, they all come with lots of great attributes but
they also come with their own problems.
So this week and this month, see if you can embrace a
few of your problems. Look for the hidden goal in them,
find some new solutions and move forward to a bigger and
better life. And as you do, in time, as you become
stronger, you’ll look back on them as inconveniences,
and it’s some of these that really make life worth
living!
Until next time, take good care of you and your life.
From My Heart To Yours, Hunter
|
|
|
|
A Little
Bit About Me....
“If you don’t create change,
change will create you.”
One way or another life is going to change; you are
going to change - like it or not. Most often, I find
myself working with people who are in the middle of
change, and the "not liking it" part. My job is to help
them take control of the situation again and get back to
the fun stuff. So often we forget that we are in control
of our own lives - every aspect of them. This doesn't
mean that we can control everything that happens, but we
can control how we deal with situations; how we respond
to them. Clarity, insight, gently honesty and practical
solutions are how I most often find myself working with
clients, always helping to remind them of what their
true talents and abilities are, and helping them to
focus and create their best possible life! As one client
recently remarked, "Hunter always seems to know the
right words to say. It may not always be what you want
to hear...but it'll be what you need to hear. You can
tell she genuinely cares about people and wants to
support them in creating something different and
wonderful in their lives."
I currently work with clients in the US and Canada.
To find out more or to schedule a
Complimentary Consultation call
1-866-820-8585
|
|
